By Karen Kaplan, MS
Dear Parents,
I have met many of you who second-guess yourselves, thinking that you need a specialist credential or clinical license to truly understand how to support individuals with autism or similar learning differences in their learning journeys. Yes, it’s always beneficial to gather knowledge and connect with those who have experience and wisdom to guide you through this complex and lifelong journey. However, do not dismiss your ideas, intuitions, and beliefs about parenting.
Evaluations and assessments can be valuable but remember that your opinions on the outcomes are also valid. No one knows exactly how every brain operates. No one can predict what might happen if we all expected children to learn and started helping them early in accomplishing daily activities, solving problems, nurturing curiosity, making mistakes but trying again, developing the courage to engage, and cheering them on for every small step they take instead of thinking for them. "He is non-verbal," says one mother. I argue that being non-verbal does not mean he cannot be taught to communicate in other ways, such as through assistive technology, sign language, pictures, pointing, or leading him to something he desires.
"He just gets stuck," says another mother, "and cannot start something.” I suggest helping him see the next step—use a picture, model it, tell him the next step, guide him through it, support his anxiety about doing something new, and reassure him that you are there to help. Many of you have other children whom you expect to do chores, follow routines for getting ready for school, and participate in family activities. So, why not hold your child with some type of neurodiversity to the same expectations? It might take them longer. They might need more modeling from you, but why not trust your instincts? It helped your other child learn to problem-solve, accept responsibility, and engage in family life.
I believe parents have earned a unique credential. They live with their child every hour of the day, have read everything available, sought out experts, and explored ways to keep them safe, fed, clothed, well-rested, not overwhelmed, engaged as they choose, learning, listening, and communicating in various ways. They likely connect with other parents who have supported someone on the spectrum and have listened to and incorporated their feedback. They have probably attended conferences and read books and articles about their child’s diagnosis. Therefore, they have truly earned that unique credential.
Parents should not feel inferior to others on the IEP (Individual Education Plan) or ITP (Individual Transition Plan) team. A parent has an equal voice.
Parents should not allow others to pigeonhole their children simply because they have been assessed with mild, moderate, or severe autism. Parents have aspirations regardless of severity. Parents, you are the ones who understand your son or daughter’s interests, motivations, and obsessions. Utilize them to create learning opportunities and community engagement. Consider how you would teach your neurotypical child to be independent and just make some adaptations (slow down, make it visual, model more, and break actions into small manageable steps). Stop being their nanny or butler. Become their coach.
Parents, use your special credential to advocate. Use your credential to create safe learning environments and set expectations not only for your neurotypical children but also for your neurodiverse children. Start early.
Parents, ensure you feel equipped to use your special credential to evaluate your child’s educational services and supports. Recognize that your special credential empowers you to question why goals are unmet. It cannot simply be that more time is required, right? Perhaps materials or strategies need adjustment. Maybe the goals are not meaningful and require modification. Use your credential to guarantee that appropriate evaluations are conducted to identify strengths and challenges, and to develop meaningful goals. Keep in mind that the SLP should focus on effective communication skills, comprehension, executive functioning, and social skills. Additionally, remember that fine motor skills, motor planning, sensory regulation, strength, and balance need to be assessed by the OT, and meaningful goals should be developed. You have a voice. Remember that your special credential gives you a voice to ask questions, seek clarification, provide additional information, and hold others accountable.
Your unique credential should inspire you to speak up, ask questions about how, when, and why, and have a voice in developing the supports, services, strategies, accommodations, and modifications being offered.
Your credential should empower you to expect your child to learn, regardless of the intensity of their learning differences. Use your credential wisely.
Karen Kaplan, MS, is a native San Franciscan. She completed her bachelor’s and master’s degrees at Arizona State University, Tempe, Arizona, in speech pathology and audiology. She minored in special education and obtained her speech therapist and special education credentials in California. Karen worked as a speech therapist for schools for 20 years before opening her own residential and education program for students with autism. She worked in credential programs at Sacramento State University as well as UC Davis and spent 20 years directing private schools for those with autism and similar learning challenges.
Karen founded a non-profit, Offerings, which helps cultures globally to understand those with developmental challenges. For seven years, she founded and facilitated an autism lecture series and resource fair in Northern California. Karen still facilitates an annual Autism Awesomeness event. She is currently consulting, helping families, schools, and centers for children, teens, and adults. Karen has authored three books: Reach Me Teach Me: A Public School Program for the Autistic Child; A Handbook for Teachers and Administrators, On the Yellow Brick Road: My Search for Home and Hope for the Child with Autism, and Typewriting to Heaven… and Back: Conversations with My Dad on Death, Afterlife and Living (which is not about autism but about having important conversations with those we love).
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