By Karen Kaplan, MS
I came across a reel today with soothing music and the title, “Put Yourself in Time-Out.” As someone who suggests that parents and other care providers of those who work with support or love on the autism spectrum and other special needs engage in wellness activities, this reel aligned with my beliefs.
The dictionary says a time-out is a form of behavioral modification temporarily separating a person from an environment where unacceptable behavior occurs. The goal is to remove that person from that environment and stop the offending behavior. It is an educational and parenting technique some pediatricians and psychologists recommend as an effective form of changing behaviors. During these time-outs, a special space is designated where the person is to sit or stand.
A time-out allows us to step back and reassess what truly matters. Taking short breaks throughout the day could improve productivity, creativity, and overall well-being. Taking time out helps our brains recharge, catch up, and reduce overall stress.
Rest is key to being our most productive selves at work and in life. Nobody functions efficiently on an empty tank; low batteries mean sluggish output. Time out, where you can get decent rest, truly relax, and feel refreshed, should be a compulsory item on our self-care list.
Loving and supporting someone with autism or similar learning challenges is a complex, ongoing responsibility. From the moment they awaken to the moment they finally fall asleep, parents and other caregivers are ‘on.’ They are supervising. They are on high alert, listening. They are teaching. They are trying to understand communication intentions. They are planning meals, shopping, and preparing meals. They help with dressing, undressing, and most hygiene needs. They are trying to implement consistent routines, avoid surprises, and look out for sensory sensitivities, which could lead to anxiety and tantrum actions.
What happens if we do not take breaks?
First and foremost, we become mentally fatigued. This leads to a lessened ability to focus and absorb information, increased irritability, and decreased creativity. This means we are less efficient, leading to longer time needed to complete a task and complete it well. The effects of endless work also manifest physically. We are more likely to experience pain, and it becomes longer-lasting. This, too, slows us down in our lives. Whether it is headaches or pain in the neck, back, or feet, it distracts from supporting others and working well.
Taking breaks provides an essential chance to reset, both mentally and physically. It is an opportunity to de-stress, clear our minds, and find renewed energy.
Parents need to know that it is okay to give themselves a time-out.
Ways to help you de-stress
Find an experienced babysitter to stay in the house and shut your door, turn on some music, or take a nap.
Ask a grandparent to give you one hour to take a walk.
Connect with other parents who align with your life and ask them how they take a time-out.
Be okay with your child binging on a computer or gaming device while you do some yoga in your room or write feelings in a journal.
Exchange time-outs with your partner. Everyone needs their own time-out.
When your child is engaged in a therapy session with a provider, take a walk or take a bath.
Sign up for a massage.
Eat healthier.
Add exercise time into your life.
Permit yourself to make mistakes. This gives your brain a time-out.
Try to make time for one of your hobbies each month. This supports your needs.
Take time early to give your brain some time-outs from later worries. Find a good trust attorney or a wise financial planner to help you with long-range worries.
Give yourself a break from worry by making sure your home is safe from escape or injury. This includes special alarms, special locks, secured gates, a safe place for keys, safe storage of cleaning supplies and medications, etc.
Take some time-outs just to breathe more deeply. Slowing your breath to an inhale count of 5 or 6 and then slowly releasing the breath is a quick time-out exercise. Adding a big sigh or two at the end can provide a time out from holding your breath all day as you care for someone you love.
So, just find some easy ways to put yourself in TIME-OUT.
Karen Kaplan, MS, is a native San Franciscan. She completed her bachelor’s and master’s degrees at Arizona State University, Tempe, Arizona, in speech pathology and audiology. She minored in special education and obtained her speech therapist and special education credentials in California. Karen worked as a speech therapist for schools for 20 years before opening her own residential and education program for students with autism. She worked in credential programs at Sacramento State University as well as UC Davis and spent 20 years directing private schools for those with autism and similar learning challenges.
Karen founded a non-profit, Offerings, which helps cultures globally to understand those with developmental challenges. For seven years, she founded and facilitated an autism lecture series and resource fair in Northern California. Karen still facilitates an annual Autism Awesomeness event. She is currently consulting, helping families, schools, and centers for children, teens, and adults. Karen has authored three books: Reach Me Teach Me: A Public School Program for the Autistic Child; A Handbook for Teachers and Administrators, On the Yellow Brick Road: My Search for Home and Hope for the Child with Autism, and Typewriting to Heaven… and Back: Conversations with My Dad on Death, Afterlife and Living (which is not about autism but about having important conversations with those we love).
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